The article on self-confidence linked to below references a book which I have not as yet read.
I agree very much in the article. However, I take a slightly different approach to self-confidence. An approach that is backed up by psychological research.
Most people feel that self-confidence is something they can have, a feeling or whatever. It’s almost like they want a pill to take and then they are self-confident.
We’re told all the time about the power self-confidence again suggesting it is a thing. However, this is not what seems to be actually going on in our minds.
To illustrate this, think of something that you can confidently do such as cleaning your teeth. Now there’s no great waves of feeling of confidence when you go to do it you just do it. The same is true for many hundreds of things you can do in your life. Generally people only talk about self-confidence when they feel they lack it. Perhaps one of the few times you do talk about your confidence is when you’re saying to somebody else “I’m confident I can do that.” In other words self-confidence for most of us is only noted when we think it is lacking.
It’s far more useful to think of confidence as two different processes.
- A belief you have the skills to do what is necessary in a particular situation. Note this is nothing to do with feelings. There are many professional performers of stage and field who are renowned for the high levels of anxiety before performing. Yet they often go on to do a flawless performance. It’s nothing to do with feelings.
- An absence of fear or anxiety. Think of your own situations, if you ever say you want more self-confidence are you really saying you have feelings of anxiety or fear that are getting in the way?
By taking a different understanding of self-confidence, what seems to actually be going on in people’s minds and brains, it makes it much easier to give people what they need to be able to confidently do what they want to do. We are not trying to hunt down something that isn’t there. The trouble with trying to find something that isn’t actually there is the more you look the more you don’t find it!
What are your thoughts about self-confidence, does what is said here connect with your experiences?
Are there mental habits that will increase your self- confidence? Most definitely. You’ll read about 7 such powerful thinking habits below. My last blog revealed the very best mental habit I know for building self-confidence: ” The Daily Success Review.”
Other Sources and references:
- Analyzing past failures may boost future performance by reducing stress
- McGonigal, K. (2012). The Willpower Instinct. (NY: Avery), p. 148.
- Boyes, A. (2018) The Healthy Mind Toolkit. (NY: Tarcher), p. 66, 205, 206.
- Babauta, L. “Two Simple Habits of Non-Procrastinators.”